how to communicate well

UNDERSTANDING THE MODEL

This model is one I use for assessing the development of the culture in organizations. It helps determine the level of ethical development and thus, the kind of management possible. I have used the development of women as the prime example in this paper. However any person who sees him or her self as a minority will have the same experience.

SECURITY - CANARIES

Human beings "stand" on two things; the first is security - being physically and psychologically safe. Before we are willing to do much of anything we need to know how we will be safe. If we cannot find out this information, then we with draw or hide out until it becomes clear.

Belenky et al, in the Women's Ways of Knowing call this state the stage of silence. They relate this stage to lack of self-confidence in ones ability to make meaning and the inability to share whatever meaning is made. (Belenky 1986 p.34) Their statement that women in this stage "signals the failure of the community to receiTiffany & Co Jewelry ve all of those entrusted to its care" is very poignant. Many people who experience such isolation and rejection are forever marked with a sensitivity to fear and the mitigating need for protection.

RULES - PENGUINS

The second things we need, once we feel safe, are the "rules" of behavior. We need to know what is expected of us and how people want us to behave, what is proper and what is not. In any organization this is the process of acculturation - learning the hidden assumptions that control public behavior. The major concern here is to do it "properly," according to the rules. There is an authority who has deeper and more knowledgeable understanding, who has the wisdom to tell others the "correct" way in which things need to be done to be efTiffany An Co fective.

This is important because Deterministic types of human systems are functioning from a Rules perspective. This kind of control is exercised by "allowing" the human system to "see" things the "right" way. The authority is externalized and outside of the individual or society. The context of "rightness" is set by the environment, family, peers and internalized as sets of values and beliefs about how the world "really" is or should be based on this external authority.
People associate with others who share their belief system and values and defend themselves against attack by others who may hold a different, and therefore threatening, point of view. Authority figures; parentTiffany & Company s, experts, the President and other leaders, or God are seen as having all the answers. The major task of the individual is obedience to the superior wisdom that the authority figure possesses.

Belenky et al, call this stage Received Knowledge. They ascribe this stage to lack of self-confidence too, but here it is manifested in the persons' inability to speak truth because they see only the "experts" as having truth. Women in this state see truth as only coming from others, so women still their voice to better hear the voice of others. (Belenky 1986 p37). In their view, it is schooling that begins to shift this stage as students become exposed to "experts" that disagree and contradict each other, and so push the student into either choice (closing off the "wrong" view) or openness as they explore both sides of the issue to make up their own mind. It is this exploring and the struggle to find one's own voice that leads to the development of the next stage. This transition phase Belenky et al call Subjective Knowledge. It is here that a woman begins to explore and validate her own knowing-her own voice.

PERSONAL POWER - EAGLES

Once we are comfortable with the first two stages of Security and Rules, then we want to know how we can be seen as powerful. How will others recognize us as important and potent. One of the ways to be seen as powerful is to write the rules, so often there are attempts at this stage to create new ways of doing things and to hold positions of authority. Inventiveness is sought after, but ONLY if it is successful. The breaking of rules is not sanctioned, but success is. If you are successful through rule breaking or by the creation of new rules you are tolerated if you are not caught and if nothing "bad" happens; you may be lionized if you are an exemplary success.

Here there is much creativity and experimentation, but all for the sake of "winning" or of being seen as effective, competent and an expert. Belenky and company call this stage Procedural Knowledge, the focus here is on . Here the human being is actively using as much of their knowing system as possible - to enable themselves to get ahead. People at this stage may find they have secret knowledge that enables them to be in the "right position at the right time" or to "think on their feet" when called to do so. Here the skills are unconscious. For many people the unconsciousness is necessary, for in our Western culture such a forthright and pragmatic concern for oneself is not looked on with favor and the use of some of the acuities (like intuition, for instance) would not be accepted. People can be clever at disguising the real purpose rather than be seen as self-serving, and the "magic" of "just knowing" the right thing can be seen as an advantage.

Each of these three stages is determined by things outside of our control-by others. As such each stage is a more developed aspect of successful survival and is infused with a certain amount of fear. The focus of attention is external and the strategy is to appease (the path of curiosity) or overcome (the path of fear) others. These stages are the domain of Primary ethics-how I survive and prosper.

Heuristic is the final type of system and of course this is the ideal. To help learn is the purpose, the raison d'art of human knowing systems at their best. These are open systems - actively engaged with their environment, co-evolving, dancing with life. Birds of a Feather(TM) sees this kind of aliveness in the fourth and fifth stages, Relationship - Barn Swallows and Self-Actualization - Swans.

RELATIONSHIP - BARN SWALLOWS

As the individual or organization internalize the lessons of the first three stages a sense of self-assurance arises. As this kind of confidence gets more secure, a new kind of curiosity develops and there is a new interest in how others have taken this journey called life. Relationships are now interesting as explorations in how other people have dealt with the same issues. Instead of developing tools for survival the focus is on creating a bag of tricks, so to speak. Diversity and difference become strategic objectives and as they increase the number of possible solutions to a given problem these new possibilities become exciting, not threatening.

Belenky et al talk about Constructed Knowledge, at this stage. "To understand is to invent" (Piaget 1973). Here the focus is on the integration of intrinsic knowledge and that learned from others. Now the women are trying to include themselves in their understanding of the world. They see themselves as having value and as being necessary as part of that understanding. Most importantly, they now have a high tolerance for internal contradiction and ambiguity. No longer are they looking for the "right" way-they are trying to understand what is and they know that their understanding will grow and change, and that's all right. The focus is on the relationship and making it work, not on personal winning. The us is more important than the I.

SELF-ACTUALIZATION - SWANS

As an appreciation for others and the vast range of possibilities sinks in, the uniqueness of the self becomes more valued and the desire to explore it rises to the top. There is a desire to give from the strength of that uniqueness and originality. There is a marked lack of judgmental thinking (Maslow 1968) as the world is "fully attended to" (ibid.). There is an aliveness and excitement with everything that happens and crises are seen as opportunities for creativity. There is also a real distaste for rules or constraint and people at this stage are highly autonomous.

These last two stages are in the domain of Secondary ethics-how we survive and prosper. This is where true autonomy rests. Managers and organizations at this stage function well with very flat and participative structures. People are comfortable and excited to contribute and resist being told what to do.

For humans to be so open and responsive, however, is in most instances an uneven thing, at best. Few people or organizations are unscared by relationships or events in their lives, so a full expression of the heuristic type is rarely found. To be open and co-evolving is the goal of the transformational individual and organization. This is what is being called forth from humanity as the environment changes with such velocity and manifests such complexity. Evolution is calling forth a co-creation as human beings begin to dance with the changes all around them.

REFERENCES

Women's Ways of Knowing: The Development of Self, Voice, and Mind by Mary Field Belenky, Blyth McVicker Clinchy, Nancy Rule Goldberger and Jill Mattuck TaruleBasic Books, New York, 1986

Toward a Psychology of Being by Abraham Maslow, Van Nostrand, New Jersey. 1968